out over the night
out over all of us
we've been
walking circles
around
the bad news
we've chasing down
and
it feels good
when our limbs meet
and it feels good when
your eyes blink, but stay here.
my hands shake
but that's still kinda fun

I feel compelled
to let you all
know
it's an embarrassment
these riches we have
our pots overflow
no liars club
is all full
we'll hold our tongues
and yell to celebrate
and rest
before we eat their young
waltz away before it's not fun
waltz away before it's not dumb

there's a new game in town,

http://flatterysucks.livejournal.com/

this lj will stil;l have poems and stuff but the other has longer writing and it won't be so much feelings.

they make movies about all kinds of things
I like the ones about different languages, mostly french and spanish
but I mean if it's another language I will give it a shot too
I'm not an elitist, I'm too ugly I think.
sing like ian curtis
dead famous man who kissed a lot of foreign lips
man, he was foreign himself so maybe he had an advantage
he was a sad guy
but he still made art, he was prolific for a while
we can all be prolific
it's not hard
just take everything in your head
and write it out
paint it out
strum it out
fuck it out
yell it out
sounds scary
but it's not
it's just an adjective
like movies about other languages

i was on television one time
tv
it was a lot of fun
because the thing about tv
television
is that no matter what you've done
(minus bad kissing and stealing from rich people)
you can always feel proud about being on tv
no not this time
and the thing about feeling proud
is really two things
one it's fun, and everyone should do it (not from drugs though)
two it's tough! modern life doesn't look too fondly on proud people.
keep that head down worker ant!
and if you're not white and proud (!!??!!)
then you'll get all called all sorts of things
but that's racism and doesn't really have anything to do with tv
or television
just for the record though, I'm white (!?!?)
but I read a book about racism
and watched a stop motion story about Martin Luther King (MLK)
and also I had some friends who used to get high and listen to Sublime and Bob Marley (fight the power indeed!)
so I feel like I can relate to that struggle.
the struggle to get on tv
right?

I understand a lot of things
mostly things that are understandable
I'm a genius, but not all the way
being a genius doesn't make you perfect or anything
it just means you have a gift.
heck you could always use your gift incorrectly
that's some dangerous genius.
like take Nietzsche for example.
he did two really bad things with his genius
inspired middle class kids with no real problems
to become more self involved (yuck!)
and inspired the Nazis! (Double yuck!)
I hope that my genius never gets misappropriated
I have enough guilt I don't need a new source

I don't give a shit
I don't give a damn shit
I am sick of all this noise
where's the mute button?
it's so loud
so FUCKING loud
I don't like it
whenever it gets this loud
I get scary thoughts
it's scary

don't worry though
when we all die
God takes care of the meek
I read that in the bible
I like the bible
it had some good ideas
also some bad ideas
but I mean look
in all reality
no one is perfect

this new bad haircut
has just ensured
that if I ever kiss
a girl again
it will not be for a while
bad haircuts
bad luck!

this sleepwalking
has been a dreadful thing
worship those eyes
it's not as dirty as we seem
it's only sex
it's only between friends
fuzzy logic
sharp foresight
I saw it coming
oh me
oh the thoughts
of other boys
of other girls
of the dead leaves on our lawn
no warnings
no mornings
drink like we're wet
but it's all dry
no more futility
no more hopelessness
more dilation
pupils and whomever
a more secure feeling
for  roughly six to eight hours
then the sleepwalking
life doesn't get better
I didn't look
but I think I am sure I know

100 beautiful women kissed me
a 1,000 people laughed at my jokes
I got 1,000,000 dollars
everyday was different
everyday was a blast
we all stopped getting old.

the patrons stared straight ahead
he crawled on his knees for the door
no one looked
he breathed
the end?
the end
his blood leaked from his nose
and ears
his eyes were glazed
and unposessed
with the worries of thought
we all end up naked
in the end
so this mess is no problem
the patrons are still staring
he didn't see it coming
if that's what you're wondering
it just sort of hit him
like a metaphorical ton of bricks
except this metaphor fucked him up
for real
collapsed lung?
probably
one of the patrons dropped his wallet
he'll get it later.
look: he's gonna die OK?
the crawling man.
metaphorical or not
no one can take a ton of bricks hitting them
he's not James Dean
or Superman
or Jesus
or anyone really.
he's a guy with blood dripping from his ear
a collapsed lung
and the unenviable ability
to persuade an entire diner
to stare straight ahead
he's dead (soon)
they're alive
and the mind wanders and forgets what it came for.

your beautiful bones
rest far from here
I miss them
I am not scared
I miss them
you doubt
but that's
to be expected

the words fell out
haphazardly
it was awkward
I had a lot to say
but not a lot
of ways
to say it
it was embarrassing
I pushed forward
using words
that stung my
tongue
I wish it was
smart sounding

and your interruption
cut through
the thoughts
'why do you look so sad?'
it's really not
significant or important
I reached into my pocket
fiddled with a bottle cap
it still wasn't easy
I coughed
when I should have sighed
that old mistake
repeats
aren't just on tv

we laid down
both exhausted
from speaking
from listening
you held me
as the cool grass
absorbed
all the words
still floating
through the air
the air and clouds
and oxygen
we all knew
that's how these things go

when I grow up
I hope to get a job
studying the internet
websites like
www.facebook.com and
www,suicidegirls.com and
www.wwe.com
the important ones
I think there is a lot to learn from
what a person
or place
or thing
or multinational business
chooses to show about
him/her/it/their self
on the internet
for instance
I would never give my phone number out
on the internet
but if someone payed me enough
I'd probably kill something on webcam
don't worry though
nothing important
maybe some grass
or a belief
nothing much.

I feel like I have a lot of important thoughts
they always go knocking around in my head
messing up my hair
and making me forget things
like this really neat fact
I used to know it really well
but I forgot it
so who knows what it is anymore?
it probably dealt with street fighter two (turbo)
I played that game a lot when I was little
younger
keep it to yourselves
I eat small bags
of popcorn
fixed to taste like
corn on the cob
and that about sums it up

the end of the world is coming
I received an urgent piece
of electronic mail
e-mail
and it said that
in 23 days
a fine young man
a Nigerian prince
or some such thing
would be beheaded
unless sent a certain
amount of money
cash
uh dinero
and unless he received
this sum of money
his blood
innocent blood
would hit the barren land
of Nigeria
I assume it is barren land
I have never heard otherwise
anyway
apparently
this prince
of Nigerian descent
readying to be de-headed
no head
was a direct descendant
of Jesus
or Muhammed
or maybe it was Denzel Washington
someone important
and anyway
if this Nigerian prince died
it would bring about the end of the world
I forget the reasoning
the website I was linked to
from the electronic mail
was very verbose
there was a lot of information
info
it was interesting
but sad
because I do not
and I will not
have the money to save this prince
this Nigerian prince
and by proxy
I cannot
and will not
save all of us
poverty is the price we all pay I guess

there's a lot of really pretty girls on the internet
there's a lot of really pretty girls on the tv
there's a lot of really pretty girls on the streets
there's a lot of really pretty girls everywhere
the important part is to let them know
just how it is they got there.

one day I think
I will write the poem
THE Poem
I am a lot more comfortable
calling this stuff a poem
I figure if Son of Sam
or Byron
or ee cummings
can be poets I can try
it doesn't hurt to try

throw away the good parts of you
wash them away
shot
do what you never would
it's fun
it's fun

clear your throat
and your head
miss
we'll  be here till then
it's fun
it's fun

it's gone now
soon forgotten
wet
we do what we can
it's fun
it's fun

oh girl
you make my insides tingle
in that good way
like vomity but with smiles
oh girl
you make me go crazy
not like my therapist fears
but the good sort
with sweet sweet kisses

oh girl
I bet your hair is soft
it really interests me
the way
some things are soft
and some things are rough
oh girl
when I don't wanna think
I wanna cover you in sweet sweet kisses

look
ok look
ok
I don't wanna hear about your attraction to grandmas
I just don't
I'm not judging
I'm not judging!
but look
I am just not interested
it's like
if you spoke about 18th century literary figures
perhaps I could be interested
if you speak about boning geriatrics
I can't relate
or won't relate
look
I am sorry
I just cannot do it